The ninja needs to eat lunch, it is true. Sometimes, however, the ninja’s hunger is not sated by a single heart-shaped dish. Occasionally the ninja needs to destroy lunch like a cocky warlord’s errant army of undisciplined henchmen. That’s what this dish brings to mind: the broken spears and decapitated foes of one’s enemy, personified by delicate spring asparagus, vanquished tofu, defeated spinach, and charmingly golden, pan-fried chickpeas, all prostrate to the awesome power of lemon.

Ah, lemon! What fruit could be more beautiful, striking, or useful? Consider its glorious flavor, clean and bright. Consider its arresting yellow color, its beautiful zest. Consider its efficacy as a weapon: used to stun an opponent when deployed as a projectile, squirted into the frantic eye of a foe, or most devious, employed as that silent agent that finds all hidden paper-cuts, lurking unnoticed, on an enemy hand. Such is the power of the lemon, and such is the power of this dish.

Ingredients

1 lemon, juiced and zested
1 can of chickpeas, rinsed and drained
1/2 bunch of asparagus, cut into 1 inch sections
1 package of tofu (medium or firm), drained, cut into delectable morsels
1 medium onion, or 2 shallots, diced
1 handful of baby spinach, roughly chopped as if by swords
1 generous glug of olive oil

Method

Artfully glug the olive oil into a waiting skillet, and add the tofu. cook until it has heated through, and begun to color. Remove from pan and set aside. In the same skillet, add the onions and your chickpeas and cook for several minutes until both have started to caramelize and turn delightfully golden. Add your asparagus. Stir occasionally so that nothing burns, and add a little oil if things begin to stick. As soon as your asparagus have cooked through (a few to several minutes, depending on how thick they are) turn off the heat and add your patiently waiting tofu and the baby spinach. Do not fear: it will surrender to the heat of the pan. Once it has wilted, add the lemon zest and juice. Stir, then salt to taste.

Serve with your favorite peasant-tribute grain. This serves 2 ravenously hungry ninja, or up to 4 henchmen.

*Adapted for asparagus from the always ninjarific food blog, 101cookbooks by Heidi Swanson.

Tofu as Fish, Swimming in a Saffron Sea

This harmonious dish need not resort to Judo to make its point. Instead, it employs subtlety and intrigue with a hint of the exotic to entice its desciples. A puzzle box, beguiling in its complexity, its simplicity becomes clear to those who apply themselves.

Ingredients:

Peanut Oil
1 box Extra Firm Tofu
2 Bell Peppers of your favorite color
3 TBSP Soy Sauce
1 TBSP Brown Sugar (optional)
3 cloves garlic
1/3 cup water
1 Can Coconut Milk
Two Limes
Saffron Rice (you can purchase basmati rice pre-seasoned with saffron and tumeric or make your own)

Method:

Set two cups of water and 1/2 cup (half the can) of coconut milk to boil. Add the saffron rice, stir once, then reduce heat and cover. Cook for 25 minutes, until rice is fluffy. Add a squirt of lime juice and stir before serving.

Drain and slice the tofu in to 1/4 inch steaks. Heat the peanut oil in a non-stick pan and add the tofu. Resist the urge to touch it for 2-3 minutes, at which point the tofu will have browned on the bottom. Have patience, grasshopper. Well browned tofu will release from the bottom of the pan, while partially cooked will stick when you try to flip it. Brown the tofu on all sides.

While the tofu is cooking, core and slice two bell peppers and prepare the sauce. Combine soy sauce, brown sugar, water, and garlic. Add the peppers and the sauce to the tofu and stir. Finally, add the remaining coconut milk and the juice of one lime. If the milk is too thick, you may increase the water up to 1 cup. Reduce the sauce, but take care not to overcook the peppers.

Place the tofu on the bed of rice and serve.