Food for Ninjas

As the days grow shorter and present tests of the ninja’s dexterity and alertness (such as government manufactured arbitrary daylight rationing programs) many of us turn inwards as an escape. Truly, such offerings as have been presented lately can be read as a slow meditation on the very good things of life in the face of wintery despair. As existentially fruitful as such exercises may be, however, occasionally one is just too busy to spend valuable time contemplating the infinite when they’ve been hired to, for instance, contemplate their foot into some (infinitely) regretful henchman’s face. That’s where this recipe comes in: nourishing, warm, flavorful, and oh so simple to make.

Ingredients:

1 inch fresh ginger, peeled, then grated or minced
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 onion, diced
1/2 Lb. new potatoes, peeled & halved
1 can of diced tomatoes with juices
1 can of garbanzo beans, rinsed and drained
1 heaping teaspoon ground cumin
1 heaping teaspoon ground coriander
1 teaspoon turmeric (optional)
A shake of cayenne (to taste–note that this will gain potency as it warms up)
A shake of cinnamon
Salt
A glug of oil

Method:

Dice, mince, and humble your ingredients for the procedure ahead. In a dry, medium-large sauce pan, add all your dry spices (the cumin, coriander, turmeric, cinnamon, and cayenne). Turn the heat to medium and toast for about a minute, stirring so nothing burns. When the smell of the spices has warmed your nose like the first blush of a springtime katana duel, add your oil, onions, garlic and ginger. Stir quickly so nothing sticks and burns and let soften–about a minute (you can add some more oil here, if necessary). Add your potatoes, chickpeas, and the tomatoes with their juices. Stir everything so that nothing is stuck to the bottom of the pan and everything is well mixed. Reduce to a simmer, and cover. For the next 35 minutes the dish will cook itself while you decimate a warlord’s errant army, prank the local sword master, darn your ninja-gi, or whatever it is you spend your time with these days. If you are one of those rare ninja with actual free time, you can give the pot a stir every now and then to make sure nothing is burning, but you don’t have to micro-manage. When the potatoes are done, remove the lid and stir. Let your dinner fill your home with delightful smells for a few minutes, allowing excess moisture to steam away. Check for salt, and serve over rice. Feeds four, and makes fantastic leftovers.

The ninja needs to eat lunch, it is true. Sometimes, however, the ninja’s hunger is not sated by a single heart-shaped dish. Occasionally the ninja needs to destroy lunch like a cocky warlord’s errant army of undisciplined henchmen. That’s what this dish brings to mind: the broken spears and decapitated foes of one’s enemy, personified by delicate spring asparagus, vanquished tofu, defeated spinach, and charmingly golden, pan-fried chickpeas, all prostrate to the awesome power of lemon.

Ah, lemon! What fruit could be more beautiful, striking, or useful? Consider its glorious flavor, clean and bright. Consider its arresting yellow color, its beautiful zest. Consider its efficacy as a weapon: used to stun an opponent when deployed as a projectile, squirted into the frantic eye of a foe, or most devious, employed as that silent agent that finds all hidden paper-cuts, lurking unnoticed, on an enemy hand. Such is the power of the lemon, and such is the power of this dish.

Ingredients

1 lemon, juiced and zested
1 can of chickpeas, rinsed and drained
1/2 bunch of asparagus, cut into 1 inch sections
1 package of tofu (medium or firm), drained, cut into delectable morsels
1 medium onion, or 2 shallots, diced
1 handful of baby spinach, roughly chopped as if by swords
1 generous glug of olive oil

Method

Artfully glug the olive oil into a waiting skillet, and add the tofu. cook until it has heated through, and begun to color. Remove from pan and set aside. In the same skillet, add the onions and your chickpeas and cook for several minutes until both have started to caramelize and turn delightfully golden. Add your asparagus. Stir occasionally so that nothing burns, and add a little oil if things begin to stick. As soon as your asparagus have cooked through (a few to several minutes, depending on how thick they are) turn off the heat and add your patiently waiting tofu and the baby spinach. Do not fear: it will surrender to the heat of the pan. Once it has wilted, add the lemon zest and juice. Stir, then salt to taste.

Serve with your favorite peasant-tribute grain. This serves 2 ravenously hungry ninja, or up to 4 henchmen.

*Adapted for asparagus from the always ninjarific food blog, 101cookbooks by Heidi Swanson.