Food for Ninjas

As the days grow shorter and present tests of the ninja’s dexterity and alertness (such as government manufactured arbitrary daylight rationing programs) many of us turn inwards as an escape. Truly, such offerings as have been presented lately can be read as a slow meditation on the very good things of life in the face of wintery despair. As existentially fruitful as such exercises may be, however, occasionally one is just too busy to spend valuable time contemplating the infinite when they’ve been hired to, for instance, contemplate their foot into some (infinitely) regretful henchman’s face. That’s where this recipe comes in: nourishing, warm, flavorful, and oh so simple to make.

Ingredients:

1 inch fresh ginger, peeled, then grated or minced
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 onion, diced
1/2 Lb. new potatoes, peeled & halved
1 can of diced tomatoes with juices
1 can of garbanzo beans, rinsed and drained
1 heaping teaspoon ground cumin
1 heaping teaspoon ground coriander
1 teaspoon turmeric (optional)
A shake of cayenne (to taste–note that this will gain potency as it warms up)
A shake of cinnamon
Salt
A glug of oil

Method:

Dice, mince, and humble your ingredients for the procedure ahead. In a dry, medium-large sauce pan, add all your dry spices (the cumin, coriander, turmeric, cinnamon, and cayenne). Turn the heat to medium and toast for about a minute, stirring so nothing burns. When the smell of the spices has warmed your nose like the first blush of a springtime katana duel, add your oil, onions, garlic and ginger. Stir quickly so nothing sticks and burns and let soften–about a minute (you can add some more oil here, if necessary). Add your potatoes, chickpeas, and the tomatoes with their juices. Stir everything so that nothing is stuck to the bottom of the pan and everything is well mixed. Reduce to a simmer, and cover. For the next 35 minutes the dish will cook itself while you decimate a warlord’s errant army, prank the local sword master, darn your ninja-gi, or whatever it is you spend your time with these days. If you are one of those rare ninja with actual free time, you can give the pot a stir every now and then to make sure nothing is burning, but you don’t have to micro-manage. When the potatoes are done, remove the lid and stir. Let your dinner fill your home with delightful smells for a few minutes, allowing excess moisture to steam away. Check for salt, and serve over rice. Feeds four, and makes fantastic leftovers.

While there have been many valiant efforts put forwards, nothing compares to the simplicity of the Shuricado: one part delicious, one part shuriken. This recipe is a whirlwind of simplicity and kickass.

Ingredients

1 perfectly ripe avocado
1/4 tsp. ground cayenne pepper
1/4 tsp. ground cumin
1 1/4 tsp lemon juice (lime works beautifully here, too)
1 tsp. olive oil
Sea salt, to taste

Method

Slice avocado and arrange like beautiful, perfect shuriken. Whisk ground cumin and cayenne pepper in small container with olive oil, lemon juice, and salt. Taste, and adjust if necessary. Drizzle avocado poetically with tangy dressing. Eat as-is for a light appetizer, or serve on top of lettuce with scallions and mandarin oranges as part of a delightful salad. Artfully devour.

**Since this recipe is so simple, make sure you have a good avocado, or its flaws, like a poorly executed death strike, will be unavoidably obvious.