Mmmm monkey.

You have mastered many cunning techniques a worldly ninja needs to survive and feed herself: Buddha’s Palm, Poaching Egg, Downward Facing Dog, Béchamel, Bojutsu, Wisk-jutsu, Monkey Fist, Hollow Leg. Below is a most delicious bread for both your Monkey Fist and your Hollow Leg.

Patiently prepare the dough the evening before. Let the rambunctious yeast do their nefarious work under the cover of darkness, letting the dough’s longer, second rise proceed over night.  Go about your morning routine of sword sharpening and coffee making enjoying the smell of freshly baking Monkey…Bread.

Dough*
4 tablespoons unsalted butter, divided (2 tablespoons softened for greasing the pan,  2 tablespoons melted for dough)
1 cup milk, warm (around 110 F degrees)
1/3 cup water, warm (also around 110 F degrees)
1/4 cup granulated sugar
1 package or 2 1/4 teaspoons active dry yeast
3 1/4 cups all-purpose flour, plus extra for your work surface
2 teaspoons table salt

*For oracular yeast and baking help check out the King Arthur Flour website.

Brown Sugar Coating
1 cup packed light brown sugar
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
8 tablespoons unsalted butter (1 stick or 4 ounces), melted

Prep this recipe the evening before, let it rise the second time over night, and bake in the morning.

Make dough:

In large measuring cup, mix together milk, water, melted butter, sugar, and yeast.

To make dough by hand, mix flour and salt in large bowl. Make well in flour, then add milk mixture to well. Using wooden spoon, stir until dough becomes shaggy and is difficult to stir. Turn out onto lightly floured work surface and begin to knead, incorporating shaggy scraps back into dough. Knead until dough is smooth, satiny and decides to stop attacking you with its doughy sticky-ness, about 10 minutes. Shape into taut ball.

Coat large bowl with oil. Place dough in bowl and coat surface of dough with the oil. Cover bowl with plastic wrap and place in warm place  (60-75°F maybe) or in cold oven (to avoid drafts) until it doubles in size, a minimum of 60 minutes, but up to several hours is fine. This is the first rise.

Nefarious yeast after the first rise.

Make brown sugar coating:

Place melted butter in one small bowl. Mix brown sugar and cinnamon in a second.

Form the bread:

Flip dough out onto floured surface and gently pat into an 8-inch square. Cut dough into ~1-inch x 1-inch small pieces. Shape each piece into a ball. Dip balls in melted butter, then roll in brown sugar mixture and layer the balls in Bundt pan. (A fork works well for the coating.)

Cover Bundt pan tightly with plastic wrap and place warm room (60-75°F maybe) or in cold oven (to avoid drafts) until dough balls are puffy and have risen overnight. This is the second rise.

Your work for the evening is done. Cover, and sleep soundly as the yeast continue to prove their unicellular usefulness.

Bake bread:

In the morning heat oven to 350°F. Unwrap pan and bake until top is deep brown, 30 to 35 minutes. Cool in pan for 5 minutes (no longer, or you’ll have trouble getting it out) then turn out to cool.

Do not despair if the Bread For Your Monkey Fist looks more like a Pile of Monkeys when you take it out of the pan. It will still satisfy a council of fierce warriors.

Monkey Pile.

Recipe modified from SmittenKitchen.com (where you can find the non-over-night version with instant yeast, bread machine directions, pictures of the bread that came out of the mold properly and generally more detailed directions).

Let’s face it: In our current economic environment, even ninjas need to make every penny count. Enter the enigmatic Artichoke. The history of this flower remains shrouded in the clouds of time. It emerges only when societies steeped in moral torpitude have required great acts in darkened corners. Not for the reckless ronin, the Artichoke embodies complex beauty. The lessons it teaches are those of patience, caution, and careful planning. The Artichoke’s power is duel: Like a rose, the artichoke’s weapon is its thorns. Like a true ninja, its secret is its heart. 

Ingredients:

1 artichoke
Pat of butter

Tools:
Sturdy gloves
Scissors, or the nearest sharp knife.
   . . . You do have one handy, right? 

Method:

Remove the thorns from the tips of the leaves.

Steam the artichoke. The resourceful ninja may construct a simple steamer using a pot with a lid and a colander. Fill the pot with water. Place the artichoke in the colander, then place the colander in the pot, but don’t allow the artichoke to become submerged. Place the lid over the colander to prevent steam from escaping. Bring the water to a boil, and allow the artichoke to steam. Perform 15 sun salutations.

Peal the leaves of the artichoke off one by one, dipping the base into butter before pulling the meat off with your teeth. Discard the leaves, as you would discard the hopes of your defeated foes. 

The patient ninja will be rewarded with the artichoke’s heart, which may be eaten whole.