How to Impress and Incapacitate Your Enemies Using Only an Artichoke
Let’s face it: In our current economic environment, even ninjas need to make every penny count. Enter the enigmatic Artichoke. The history of this flower remains shrouded in the clouds of time. It emerges only when societies steeped in moral torpitude have required great acts in darkened corners. Not for the reckless ronin, the Artichoke embodies complex beauty. The lessons it teaches are those of patience, caution, and careful planning. The Artichoke’s power is duel: Like a rose, the artichoke’s weapon is its thorns. Like a true ninja, its secret is its heart.
Ingredients:
1 artichoke
Pat of butter
Tools:
Sturdy gloves
Scissors, or the nearest sharp knife.
. . . You do have one handy, right?
Method:
Remove the thorns from the tips of the leaves.
Steam the artichoke. The resourceful ninja may construct a simple steamer using a pot with a lid and a colander. Fill the pot with water. Place the artichoke in the colander, then place the colander in the pot, but don’t allow the artichoke to become submerged. Place the lid over the colander to prevent steam from escaping. Bring the water to a boil, and allow the artichoke to steam. Perform 15 sun salutations.
Peal the leaves of the artichoke off one by one, dipping the base into butter before pulling the meat off with your teeth. Discard the leaves, as you would discard the hopes of your defeated foes.
The patient ninja will be rewarded with the artichoke’s heart, which may be eaten whole.