Food for Ninjas

Epicurious George has, as always, a point: the Orange is a delightful treat for taste buds skirting the edge of sleep. And without eyes in the back of its head, it is easy prey for the sluggish ninja. However, for those seeking a more impressive medium with which to display their skill, might we recommend a collaboration?

For this recipe you will need to subdue:

2 pears
1/2 watermelon
1/2 cantaloupe
1 cucumber
1 fistful Basil

With:

Two knives
Deadly Speed

Chop, scoop, and dice your way through your foe. Combine pleasingly, and perhaps rub a little lemon juice into the wounds. Enjoy.

Let’s face it: In our current economic environment, even ninjas need to make every penny count. Enter the enigmatic Artichoke. The history of this flower remains shrouded in the clouds of time. It emerges only when societies steeped in moral torpitude have required great acts in darkened corners. Not for the reckless ronin, the Artichoke embodies complex beauty. The lessons it teaches are those of patience, caution, and careful planning. The Artichoke’s power is duel: Like a rose, the artichoke’s weapon is its thorns. Like a true ninja, its secret is its heart. 

Ingredients:

1 artichoke
Pat of butter

Tools:
Sturdy gloves
Scissors, or the nearest sharp knife.
   . . . You do have one handy, right? 

Method:

Remove the thorns from the tips of the leaves.

Steam the artichoke. The resourceful ninja may construct a simple steamer using a pot with a lid and a colander. Fill the pot with water. Place the artichoke in the colander, then place the colander in the pot, but don’t allow the artichoke to become submerged. Place the lid over the colander to prevent steam from escaping. Bring the water to a boil, and allow the artichoke to steam. Perform 15 sun salutations.

Peal the leaves of the artichoke off one by one, dipping the base into butter before pulling the meat off with your teeth. Discard the leaves, as you would discard the hopes of your defeated foes. 

The patient ninja will be rewarded with the artichoke’s heart, which may be eaten whole.

While there have been many valiant efforts put forwards, nothing compares to the simplicity of the Shuricado: one part delicious, one part shuriken. This recipe is a whirlwind of simplicity and kickass.

Ingredients

1 perfectly ripe avocado
1/4 tsp. ground cayenne pepper
1/4 tsp. ground cumin
1 1/4 tsp lemon juice (lime works beautifully here, too)
1 tsp. olive oil
Sea salt, to taste

Method

Slice avocado and arrange like beautiful, perfect shuriken. Whisk ground cumin and cayenne pepper in small container with olive oil, lemon juice, and salt. Taste, and adjust if necessary. Drizzle avocado poetically with tangy dressing. Eat as-is for a light appetizer, or serve on top of lettuce with scallions and mandarin oranges as part of a delightful salad. Artfully devour.

**Since this recipe is so simple, make sure you have a good avocado, or its flaws, like a poorly executed death strike, will be unavoidably obvious.